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‘Sommige blowers stagneren in hun ontwikkeling. Ik ben daar zelf een beetje allergisch voor’

I’m someone who tends to overthink a lot. It can get me lost in my own thoughts and into a downward spiral. When I was in high school, I was in therapy for catastrophic thinking and I learned how to better control my own thoughts. But there continue to be times when my thoughts are racing through my brain and nothing positive comes out of them. When that happens, I’m happy to light a joint so my thoughts are brought to a halt.  For me, smoking weed isn’t a means to escape. In fact, introspection is one of the main reasons why I study psychology. But there is a difference between introspection and the downward spiral that I mentioned: the latter can lead to depression. Smoking weed is one of my coping mechanisms: I use it for self-medication purposes. My psychologist did point out to me several times that I should be careful with it and I am. That makes me an exception though.

I have noticed that the people around me who smoke weed often are showing signs of stagnation. They stop developing. I’m kind of allergic to that myself: to not wanting to grow. That’s why I’m always critical towards my own drug use. I smoke one or two joints a day. Whenever I feel a certain dependency coming up, like when I don’t reach the level of highness that I was expecting, I take a step back. Sometimes I even quit for a whole month; one month is usually enough to lower my tolerance. A buddy of mine that quit smoking weed himself helps me get through the stages of stress and withdrawal symptoms.

In my opinion drug use can be healthy and constructive. It’s just not for everyone; not everyone can do it responsibly. I think that’s a matter of genetic predisposition and upbringing.’

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